After prolonged exposure to stress or danger, a mother’s body can remain on high alert. Elevated levels of cortisol and adrenaline keep her alert during the day and wired at night. Sleep becomes fragmented or elusive, and with each night of disrupted rest, her ability to be fully present for her child diminishes. Not because she doesn’t care, but because her brain and body are running on empty.
Sleep deprivation affects her system in profound and measurable ways:
- The prefrontal cortex—responsible for emotional regulation and decision-making, goes offline, making it harder to stay calm, patient or clear-headed.
- The amygdala, the brain’s alarm system, becomes hyperactive—amplifying emotional reactivity and overwhelm.
- The immune system weakens, increasing inflammation and making the body more vulnerable to illness.
- And empathy and connection, which rely on nervous system stability, become difficult to access when the body is locked in high alert.
Recent neuroscience research confirms this disruption. A landmark brain imaging study found that even a single night of sleep deprivation weakens the connection between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala, impairing emotion regulation and increasing sensitivity to stress (Yoo et al., 2007).
She may feel irritable, foggy, short-tempered, or numb, often blaming herself for these reactions.
Simultaneously, her child is also affected. Children impacted by trauma often struggle to settle, experience frequent night awakenings, and suffer from nightmares. Their nervous systems, like their mother’s, remain on edge—trapped in hypervigilance.
This creates a reinforcing cycle: the mother’s exhaustion hampers her ability to soothe her child, while the child’s disrupted sleep further deteriorates the mother’s rest. Their systems mirror each other, amplifying stress, emotional volatility, and feelings of disconnection.
Too often, this strain is misread. A mother’s emotional withdrawal is seen as disinterest. A child’s clinginess or aggression is labelled defiance. But beneath the behaviour is a nervous system in distress—two bodies stuck in survival, doing their best to cope with too little rest and too much demand.
When exhaustion is met with judgment instead of understanding, the pain deepens. Parents blame themselves. Children feel unsafe. The bond that should offer refuge becomes strained by misinterpretation.
This is how trauma perpetuates—not solely through memories but through the biology of chronic, compounded exhaustion.
Life becomes a battleground of overwhelm.
It’s not because they’re broken. It’s because their systems are pleading for rest.
Research underscores the depth of this interplay. A 2022 study found that maternal sleep deprivation and emotional distress are closely linked to infant sleep challenges, highlighting the bidirectional impact of maternal well-being on child development (Lin et al., 2022). Another longitudinal study found that mothers with a history of childhood abuse and PTSD are more likely to experience bonding difficulties postpartum—with long-term effects on their children’s emotional development (Seng et al., 2013).
Another study emphasised that sleep disturbances in mothers with a history of trauma can adversely affect the mother-infant bond, leading to long-term behavioural issues in children.
Supporting the mother’s nervous system through rest and regulation is essential. Helping her shift out of this heightened state through restorative sleep can initiate both physiological and relational healing.
This is not to say that sleep alone can rebuild attachment or resolve trauma.
But without it, even the most devoted mother and the most resilient child may struggle to connect.
To truly support healing, we must support their biology—in the quiet hours, within the nervous system, where deep, sustained recovery begins.
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References
1. Lin, X., Zhai, R., Mo, J., Sun, J., Chen, P., & Huang, Y. (2022). How do maternal emotion and sleep conditions affect infant sleep: A prospective cohort study. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 22, Article 237. Read the study
2. Seng, J. S., Sperlich, M., Low, L. K., Ronis, D. L., Muzik, M., & Liberzon, I. (2013). Childhood abuse history, posttraumatic stress disorder, postpartum mental health, and bonding: A prospective cohort study. Journal of Midwifery & Women’s Health, 58(1), 57–68. Read the study
3. Yoo, S. S., Gujar, N., Hu, P., Jolesz, F. A., & Walker, M. P. (2007). The human emotional brain without sleep—A prefrontal amygdala disconnect. Current Biology, 17(20), R877–R878. Read the study